Product recall, false advertising

This is a ONCE and a lifetime offer. This one of a kind “Anonymous”*tm is going to be sold to the route that is bidding the most FUn and PLEASure—in the long run. He has many qualities that will enable him to enjoy and pursue this currency of “FUN”. He has a quick wit and a silver tongue—and also wields the very persuasive weapon known as the pencil, outlet of creativity. He is fairly attractive and athletic. His path does not end in his hometown and he IS destined to travel the world and spend the rest of his days with the woman of his dreams—he is well on his way to accomplishing this. He has already explored the far reaches of the U.S.A. and has sailed through the blue mystique known as the Atlantic Ocean. DO NOT let this offer slip away. Gauranteed awesome time and will live life to the fullest.

DISCLAIMER: Will wither away if oppressed in the depressing routine of everyday life. Will seek adventure, and will seek adrenaline. “Silver” tongue not actually made of silver, and “quickness” of wit varies. Wash in hot water, tumble dry only. BUY AS IS!!!